Slow parenting!
Posted by Dalia on January 7, 2010
Maybe we should not wish for a toddler to control his behavior and think faster!
A well-known observer of child development — a preschool teacher who emphasizes age-appropriate practices — said a long time ago that young children need to be young children. But as school curricula creep down to younger ages, it becomes harder for teachers to argue with the parents. Parents are asking for more “kindergarten-like” activities, believing that “if we give them structure earlier, they will have it by the time they go to kindergarten.”
“University of Pennsylvania neuropsychologist Sharon Thompson-Schill and her colleagues who study the prefrontal cortex — the part of the brain that filters out irrelevant information and allows us to focus — are suggesting that an immature prefrontal cortex may not be a deficit at all, despite how frustrating it can be to a parent trying to get a toddler dressed and out the door.”
Rather, they believe it’s a learning advantage in the first years of life. Their research, published in the most recent issue of the journal “Current Directions in Psychological Science,” asks whether it may be detrimental to push a developing brain toward maturity too soon. “The prefrontal cortex is crucial for the ability to regulate thought and control behavior,” the report explains. They point out (and any parent can tell you from experience) that this self-regulating part of the brain doesn’t kick in fully until about age 4. That’s why toddlers and preschoolers, as the report puts it, “exhibit marked deficits in cognitive control.”
The researchers write: “We contend that prolonged prefrontal immaturity is, on balance, advantageous, and that the positive consequences of this developmental trajectory outweigh the negative.” Specifically, they argue that the cognitive control we wish our toddlers had actually impedes learning about basic societal conventions (including acquiring language). Delayed prefrontal lobe maturation, they say, “is a necessary adaptation for human learning of social and linguistic conventions.”
“A system optimized for performance,” they explain, “may not be optimal for learning, and vice versa.”
What does that mean for parents? Mostly: Do not worry when your toddler does not focus, does not behave “logically,” does not do what you asked him or her to do. Let her or him get it on their own time and schedule. Their brain is not totally structured yet, and rushing the process is not beneficial to the child. If you are focused on that, and stay calm and optimistic, you will witness the child’s brain maturing at the rate that is most beneficial to him or her.
