Q&A
You have children. Small children. Actually, even older children. If you are like me, you have a question. Or many. Here is a place you can ask them, and get a response!
Dalia Coaches Parents
Become the parent you always wanted to have
Hi! I’m Dalia!
Welcome!
If you are a parent, this site is for you. You'll find many helpful ideas in my blog entries, and lots of interesting reading and resources. Come back often! And be sure to sign up for "Good Things to Do," in the right-hand column!I welcome your comments and questions! Call me (650/969-6752) or email me (dalia.orr@gmail.com).Dalia’s Tags
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laurie ann said
Dear Dahlia
Thank you for your wonderful site.
I would like to know your thoughts on co-sleeping with children.
There are many conflicting studies on this.
Thank you for your time.
Best
Laurie Ann
Dalia said
Thank you for such a great question!
I am reading research about parenting with a great deal of skepticism. The weakest point of such research is the fact that it studies one element in parenting, isolated from all others. It is easy to prove – or disprove- the benefits of co-sleeping if you just compare children with and/or without such experience. In the real world, I found it has to do with what the parents bring to the table as well: their own life experience, their own communication with each other, their own reasons to practice co-sleeping or not to.
I have seen family who followed their traditional co-sleeping. Some liked it, some did not. I have seen families who were convinced this is the best thing they can do for their child, to discover it only built anger, resentment and marital problems with their spouses. I have also seen families for whom this worked very well.
Read my general thoughts about this in my upcoming blog entry, and let me know what you think, or what questions you might have!
Ioana said
Dear Dalia,
I have a question: how much and in which fashion can one critique their children?
My mother was always very critical of me: the way i dressed, behaved, learned in school. This created many fights between us, but now I believe I have a realistic view of (my) life because of her.
On the other hand, my husband’s mom always encouraged him in respects that were not always true and from my point of view he has a strange take on life. Nevertheless, he has this unshakable faith in himself which seems to help him a lot.
I want to marry somehow these two approaches, have my son have faith in himself, while keeping it real, but it seems impossible.
What are your thoughts about it?
Dalia said
Done
Dalia said
Thank you for sharing!
I had many similar experiences as my children grew up. I thought of some kind of ultimate ideal”way” to discover it has to work for me, too! My conclusion: mom and child are a system, they have to work together. It’s like a dance: whatever one does is impacting the other. Therefore, look at your dreams of being the perfect mo as a starting point, and adjust as you go along. You found YOUR way to play with your child, to have fun and joy – that is what counts!